Nine Years, and Uncle

For most developers, “keeping your word” means hitting a deadline. But there is one promise in my life that means something different. It took nine years to finish. Twice, an accident cut off all contact between me and the person I had made it to. And yet I never let go of that promise, and neither did he. This is the story of those nine years.

Nine years ago, I met a client by chance on Upwork. What he hired me for was software development. But the real problem he was carrying was something else entirely. He had already spent three years trying to bring this project to life, but the developers he worked with either lacked the skill or never truly understood what he was trying to build. All he had to show for those three years were incomplete pieces of work, and not even the source code for those. What remained were a handful of mockup screens he had sketched himself, and a pile of materials about the marriage and couples-counseling work he ran, built around Retrouvaille.

At the time, I had no idea this connection would still be alive today, or that nine years later I would finally be handing him a finished product.

The First Accident

This was before vibe coding existed, so coding still demanded real time and effort. Even so, a skilled developer should have been able to finish both the web and mobile versions within six months.

Once I finished the web version and the Android app, I made plans to meet him in person and headed to the airport to fly to Michigan, where he lived. That same day, I was in an accident.

It took a while to recover. My body eventually healed, but my devices were completely destroyed; every account and every contact stored on them was gone. I have never regretted anything more than not having memorized his contact information. Ten years ago, backing everything up to the cloud was not yet the habit it is now.

A Reunion, Seven Years Later

A few years later, I stumbled across his contact information again, almost by accident. I managed to recover the email account we had once used to communicate, and we finally reconnected.

He was genuinely overjoyed to hear from me again. And he still wanted to finish the project that carried his dream. What struck me most was this: for seven years, he had not handed the project to anyone else. He had simply kept what I gave him, safe and untouched, waiting. That trust of his weighed on me more than any contract ever could.

The Second Accident

We worked together again for two years. Then something happened in my personal life, and I disappeared from contact for over a year. Once again, I was not able to let him know what had happened to me.

The last promise we made was that once he returned from a business trip, we would get the project ready to launch. That promise, too, went unkept. Accidents, as it turns out, never announce themselves in advance.

When I finally recovered, the first person I reached out to was not family. It was him. After all the years we shared, and the understanding we built between us, this project had stopped being just his dream. It had become something I cared about too. I wanted, more than anything, to see his dream become real.

Closing the Circle

I wanted, somehow, to bring these nine years to a close. Last month, exactly nine years after we first met, I finally finished the project. It is live at DialogueDaily.

If the reason this took nine years was a lack of responsibility, or conscience, or simply not being skilled enough, then I probably should have given up being a developer altogether. But that is not what this delay was. It was the product of two accidents and a bond that, somehow, refused to break. That no matter how much life falls apart, you finish what you started: that is what I wanted to prove, to him and to myself, over these nine years.

Why I Call Him Uncle

Over the course of a life, a person meets many people. But I doubt I will ever have another relationship as full of twists and turns as this one. What I am most grateful for is that, through all of it, he was endlessly generous and considerate toward me. There were times when he suffered losses because of me, or because of things in my life beyond my control, and still, he never once held it against me. He always just said, “God bless you.”

Today, I work alongside him as part of his team at Advanced Web Strategies, and we have become genuine friends. He has always been someone who offers me guidance, encouragement, and a living example of what it means to live with values, an elder I look up to. That is why I call him Uncle.

Looking back on these nine years, I think the story really comes down to one thing: a good relationship survives only when neither person gives up on the other. And I want to be the kind of developer who never gives up on the people, or the work, they have committed to, no matter what gets in the way.